Talk:Girl Meets the Forgiveness Project/@comment-26999065-20151107053538/@comment-26999065-20151107160143
Then you continue to hate, and you'll be slower to heal your own wounds. Congratulations - you failed Cory's assignment. It's all too easy to say Kermit could have fixed himself, like it's just a matter of snapping one's fingers and willing it to happen - like magic. It's not that easy. It takes time, effort, and desire to get better, and sometimes a better, healthier environment to even find that desire. And we don't know enough about the home situation to know if he could have gotten better there or if Kermit and Katy would have just continued to reopen each other's wounds and tear at one another. We just don't know. Kermit didn't leave Maya and Katy for another family - that happened later, it seems - maybe years later. Maybe it only happened because he needed time alone to realize what was important to him, time to mature, or maybe someone new came into his life that was a better fit and gave him what he needed to get better, encouraging him and helping him to get better rather than demanding he be better already. We just don't know. I have to disagree that forgiveness must be earned since, as I've said, it's mostly a gift you give to yourself first, then maybe, in time, to others. I'm not sure what you'd need Kermit to do now, for example, to earn forgiveness, but apparently showing up, apologizing, listening to his kid, being kicked away and yet willing to try a second time just isn't enough for you. Were you imagining he should come back and abandon his new wife and new kids to earn this forgiveness from his old family? I'm not sure what you're looking for, but I think Kermit is doing what he can. And from what he said about not being able to afford all the food thrown at him, he doesn't sound or look rich - his new family is probably struggling economically, too, so he can't even help out Katy and Maya with child support, probably. A judge might compel him to pay more, but only at the expense of his new family - though a judge might not care about that, simply feeling the prior child has a greater claim on his paycheck and he shouldn't have had more kids. But he already did. But this isn't about some of the problems in the legal system. Anyway, Kermit didn't seem like he was demanding to be forgiven - he didn't go there for himself, but he went there for Maya - and he seemed reasonably contrite and willing to give Maya what he could. And he did. He explained to her it wasn't her fault since that's what she wanted to know in her letter, and he gave Maya what she needed to forgive herself - the knowledge it wasn't her fault at all. A lot of deadbeat dads wouldn't have even come and done that much. A lot of guys wouldn't have picked themselves up after being kicked away and come back for a second slap in the face, but Kermit risked it - for his kid. He can't change the past - no one can, but he can do what little he can now - and he did. Many jerks wouldn't have done even that much, So yeah, I really have to wonder what it is that you'd want Kermit to do to earn forgiveness if what he did just wasn't enough.